Major League Fail

In my stalking of my Twitter feed (because I’m less than interested in doing homework right now), my attention was brought to an article about Major League Baseball donating $300,000 to Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis organisations on the 75th anniversary of Lou Gehrig’s “Luckiest Man” speech.

Not gonna lie, I LOL’d reading the article.

Before you brand me an evil person and send me away to be tried as a witch and burned at the stake, let me throw some numbers at you. If I’m reading the article correctly (and I’m really hoping that I’m not), it looks to me like this $300,000 is going to be split among four different organisations. That’s $75,000 each. To the MLB, that’s the equivalent of digging in the sofa cushions for change to throw in a bucket carried by a Boy Scout.¬†

To add insult to injury, according to, the minimum salary of a Major League Baseball player is $500,000 for 2014.

So what you’re saying, Major League Baseball, is that research and aid to organisations in support of Lou Gehrig’s Disease is worth less to you than the guy sitting on the bench batting sub-.250 with 50 ABs and 10 Ks. I cannot think of anything more insulting.

“Oh, but all the teams are looking to bring awareness to the disease! Putting our faces out there will bring in more donations, raise awareness, and allow for more focused research!” True story, but let’s face it folks, people knowing about ALS doesn’t fund research. People knowing about the disease doesn’t pay the salaries of researchers, doesn’t buy equipment, doesn’t help fund programs to help those fighting the illness. It doesn’t build ramps, doesn’t help provide care, and doesn’t pay for special fun outings.

Money does. Thanks for the $300,000 but seriously, that’s nothing. The benchwarmer makes more money than that. And your little donation of what is less than minimum wage in Major League Baseball is, to put it bluntly, fucking insulting.

So here’s the challenge I present to you, oh big-wigs at MLB: I challenge each and every one of the 30 teams to donate $600,000. Prove to people suffering from ALS and their families that they are worth more than minimum wage. EACH. AND. EVERY. TEAM. Stop ¬†being insulting jerks, with your pocket change and your smiles, thinking that this insulting donation is good enough. Truly show that you are committed to ALS research and to finding a cure, and to bettering the lives of those with it. While your executives are sitting in their luxury boxes, sipping mai tais and watching the game, how about throwing a little extra cash the way of these organisations who you claim to support.

Actually support them. Put your money where your mouth is. And pay Lou Gehrig more than minimum wage.