I admit, I have a very difficult time with people who ask questions about my condition above and beyond “what’s that?” Despite what people may think given that I have a blog, I am a very private person. If I want to discuss my life and its goings on with you, I will bring up the subject. And just because I have brought up the subject does not give you the leeway to ask a million questions that I find to be personal in nature. Especially when I hardly know you, rarely see you, and most certainly do not consider you to be close enough to warrant responding to your interview requests.
I had the pleasure this afternoon of working with a girl who will readily admit that she’s nosy and asks a lot of questions. And I felt like I was being interrogated throughout my entire shift. It was incredibly uncomfortable, and it all started with what I felt was a rather inappropriate question about my job prospects up north. I responded with a hard and cold “I don’t know if I’ll be able to work this fall,” which to me was a signal to end the conversation and move on. To her, however, it was an invitation to ask me a million more questions about my life, on everything from my schooling to my medical conditions.
I wish I could be straight-up rude, but to be honest, I don’t think she would have gotten it. I heard at least three times this afternoon that “I know, I ask a lot of questions,” like it’s completely all right for her to be cornering me and getting information on my private life. I felt like I was talking to a two-year-old caught up in the never-ending circle of “why?” Every time I put down what I thought was a definitive “this is the end” answer, I got asked another question. I would find myself giving a one-word answer and turning my back to her, returning to feigning work by scanning the headlines on Yahoo.
The fact of the matter is, it’s not a topic I’m really comfortable discussing with yet, especially not with strangers, and even more especially with people who in the process of trying to find out more information end up questioning why I do things the way that I do. That right there is something that irritates me above no other. I do things the way that I do because that’s how I want to do them. I do not appreciate my methodology being called into question, even if it’s a simple “why?” We’re not discussing why I do things for work here, which is one instance where I think asking why is appropriate. We’re talking about my life here, how and why I handle things, how and why I manage my conditions and how and why I maintain my health. Those are questions that I absolutely do not appreciate in any way, shape or form.
Thankfully, I don’t work with her very often – as a matter of fact, this is only the first weekend I’ve worked with her in a month and a half. I was warned about her perpetual questions when I first started there last summer, and was told that she’s just an inquisitive person, don’t worry about it. And to be honest, it’s not like I’m concerned about gossip or anything like that. I just don’t appreciate being put under a microscope like she does, asking questions, disguising her nosiness as simple curiosity. Because she’s not curious. A person who is curious would be asking about the biology of the condition or how many people have it, not how I plan on continuing with school or why I may have to quit my job.
I think that my biggest issue is that I feel like I can’t work with her without my privacy being violated. And I know that I have to say something and that I should, if I ever want to make it through the shift without being asked 100 questions. I know that the opportunity will come up tomorrow, there’s no way she can go without getting into people’s business. But I’m not sure how much good it will do.
All I can do is try.