Low Carb South Park

I. Love. South Park.

I know, it’s a polarising show – you either love it or you think it’s stupid and vulgar. I am in the first camp (as I’m sure you can tell), simply due to the fact that they tackle some pretty serious issues in that stupid and vulgar manner that makes you really look at the issues in a completely different light – which oftentimes is quite necessary.

So I finally got around to watching the episode that aired the Wednesday before last, Gluten Free Ebola. I will admit that, as a low carb eating person, for the first time in my life I went into the episode somewhat cautious. But knowing that for the past what, 18 years, South Park’s MO has been “look at it one way and then another,” I kept going.

The male genitalia flying off did make me laugh way more than it should have.

In the end, Cartman has a dream where Aunt Jemima tells him that the pyramid is upside down. He calls up the USDA to tell them, and then they come up with this:

Screenshot 2014-10-11 18.16.30

Well it’s about damn time!

Now THAT is the pyramid how I see it. We’ll ignore the fact that it never was a pyramid to begin with but a triangle for a moment, and focus on the fact that even Trey Parker and Matt Stone know what’s up.

Fat is not bad, people!

Well, let me modify that to say that not all fat is bad. Trans fats, they’re still bad. Refined fats, still bad. Now, the ending scenes where people are eating steak with a stick of butter are a gross overexaggeration, but that’s South Park for you (although I will take this moment to say that steak is in fact quite tasty with butter on it – just not a whole quarter pound of the stuff). I also find it quite coincidental that the butter-and-steak party was thrown for the kid with diabetes. Sort of.

The point I’m trying to get at in my incoherent rambling is that it’s about damn time that low carb/high fat got a good show in the mainstream media. Studies are starting to come out that all those carbohydrates are bad, and that’s good too. I am the kind of person who does not think that there is a one-size-fits-all diet plan, but I do wholeheartedly agree that the “you must have a serving of complex carbohydrates at every meal!” mentality needs to go. I shudder when I recall what I was initially taught by my dietician as a child – I had to chose one starch, two for supper, and record them in what I will admit was a handy worksheet that made it easy. If I didn’t make choices from every recommended group, I got a proverbial finger shaken at me.

I eat a very balanced diet while on low carb. I still make things like biscuits and bread and cakes and cookies, just they’re all without grains and low on the carbohydrates. I can still have all the tasty and delicious sweet things, and I do still bake up a storm. I eat a ton of vegetables, and contrary to popular belief I do not make an entire meal out of bacon (I love bacon more than most people, but not that much). Almost everything I eat is handmade, there are very little processed foods, and I spend WAY less money on food now that I don’t get a burger and fries all the time and I never order a pizza anymore. I also weigh less than I did in high school and once again I now have to go buy more jeans because they all fall off my ass.

I also need a new belt because I destroyed the only one I own yesterday.

Anyway, I high five Trey and Matt for their bringing this to the minds of those who would likely not even think about it. South Park is the in-your-face voice that LCHF needs to get through to the younger crowd. Put down that multigrain muffin sugar-filled monstrosity (because muffins are nothing more than cake for breakfast) and eat a low carb, no sugar version. It tastes better, and is better for you too.

I have also decided that the ultimate way to know you’ve arrived is for South Park to make fun of you. I have switched my life goal to be from winning the Nobel Prize to having South Park poke fun at me. Or maybe I could have South Park poke fun at me FOR winning the Nobel Prize. Hmm…

And as a side note, I’ve been super craving potato chips lately. I think imma try deep frying radishes and see how that turns out…

And the Insurance Woes Continue

I really am fed up with insurance companies.

Yeah, I haven’t been around for a while. Studying has been taking up a lot of my time lately (I say as I look at the open binder of genomics notes that hasn’t been looked at in the past 45 minutes). As a matter of fact, I have to scurry off to a chemistry lab here in 20 minutes. And I should probably fill out this mounting pile of paperwork from two different specialty pharmacies as I begin the transition to the third one in as many months.

I’ve also been without test strips now for about a week.

I called up that medical supply place a while ago for a new shipment. Sweet, I thought that everything was all honkey dorey. The supply company  had checked with my insurance that everything would be covered, and all was set.

Or so I thought.

I got a phone call last week saying that my new insurance company wanted my strips to go through the pharmacy department, so they would be coming separately from my pump supplies since they were two separate entities. Whatevs, my insurance could have saved themselves shipping by leaving everything the way that it was, but don’t care. I got my pump supplies a week ago, but never received my strips. So I finally found the time to call them today (when I should have been studying, but whatevs) and tried to figure out what was up.

I thought that everything had been taken care of this month. Turns out my supplier hadn’t sent my info over to the pharmacy.

Le sigh.

So I called the pump supplier people and they physically walked the scripts and authorisations et all over to the pharmacy, which was nice, and they called me back to let me know that they got everything…

But my insurance won’t allow me more than 100 strips per month without prior authorisation.

When you do the math, that’s 3.33 tests PER DAY (assuming 30 days in a month). That’s 3.33 tests PER DAY for a TYPE 1 DIABETIC on an INSULIN PUMP.

Worst. Joke. EVER.

Two things happened here. First, some jackoff thought it would be a good idea to make an across-the-board recommendation that type 2 diabetics only need to test their blood sugar like 3 times a week, and the second thing is that some jackoff thinks that type 1 diabetes = type 2 diabetes.

For the HUNDRETH TIME folks,

IT. DOESN’T.

For the record, there was a time I was testing my blood sugar over 10 times a day. It’s gone down some, because I simply don’t have the time (I haven’t even had the time to bitch in here about things, and that’s saying a lot). As a matter of fact, this thought train ended up continuing after my lab, because I ran out of time and had to skedaddle (which Chrome isn’t underlining in red, SCORE!).

P.S. My blood sugar crashed on me in the lab. Suddenly and bad. As in, my TA took the time to ask me if I was ok. And it took me another 5 minutes of feeling completely confused to get the hint, wash my hands and exit the lab with a tube of mini M&Ms.

But I digress. Not having test strips sucks. Although to be honest, I would have test strips…if I hadn’t lost my backup monitor yesterday. Yup, I have no idea what happened to it. I tested my blood sugar in the bathroom of the library yesterday and haven’t seen it since.

I guess I could ask at the desk…but that would require talking to people I don’t know. Which is proving to be more and more difficult, I’m finding. But that’s another thing to deal with at another time.

BACK TO MY ORIGINAL STORY….because, attention deficit OOH SHINY!!

I got my last two weeks of blood glucose readings as well as the last 31 days emailed to my endo’s LPN and they got the prior auths rolling for me. Which means I’ll have the rest of the test strips I need in what, two, three weeks?

*sigh* great.

How much will it take for me to be able to make my own medical decisions? What will it take for me to be able to test my blood sugar as many damn times as I want? I know that I’m like the only person on the planet who tests more than 4 times a day, but I’m kind of in school to become a scientist, and there’s no such thing as too much data. Plus, everyone knows that people who check their blood sugar more have better A1c’s.

People with better A1c’s not only live longer, but have less complications. As in, don’t need amputations or organ transplants or crazy expensive shit like that. Hey insurance companies, test strips cost WAY less than antirejection drugs. Just sayin’.


This was like, the most awfully-worded blog post. Ever. This is what happens when you don’t know what your blood sugar is for 36 hours.